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passe
what a week. despite only having to study for three papers, i'm moving at an extremely slow and alarming rate. so far, i only finished studying for accounting. (but i don't think i can remember every single thing.) but i have been blessed time and time again with motivations and encouragements. (: and i really thank God for that. of course, not including the "volcano eruption" on wednesday. a huge thank you to theodore for being so patient and just being there. like i said, you always seem to know when i'm upset and need someone to cry to. (: had a catch-up session with maine, although i was supposed to study. but it was worth it, it was good just taking a break and not think about work all the time. after next week, that would be the end of my first semester of my second year in school. time really flies. i can vividly remember the day i stepped into poly and thought, today is going to suck. hahaha thank God it went quite okay. (: you know, sometimes it might seem that He is so far away, up there somewhere, but you are not sure where. being so uncertain makes you think, what if He doesn't exist? what if it's all just a lie and God isnt up there at all? but you know, its called faith. and i'm so glad all these while, i have been holding to that faith, that God exists, He is in Heaven, that He answers prayers and He has a plan for me. unknowingly, it actually has been the thing that keeps me going. and the thought of leaving everything in His hands and letting Him do His will in His time has lessen my load a lot. i guess i don't worry as much as i did before. the future seems shaky and blurry to me right now. there are so many times when i feel disheartened and unclear about my path. nobody said life would be easy and smooth. i just read chris' blog about his friend. thinking about it makes me sad too. no matter how many times i have cried because of my parents, i still love them and nothing else would matter anymore when they are gone. of course, the thought that they would be with God in Heaven is comforting but the thought of them not being physically present with you just hurts. life is truly unpredictable. you don't know when God decides that your time is up. although we would be going to a better place, the thought of not knowing when we will be going is scary. so, i just want you to know that, everything may seem wrong for you right now. that things are not going your way. God knows and He is preparing you for something better. good things happen after the bad. it's just like a peak. things will improve. we might not be able to see why God lets things like these happen but one day, i'm sure we will know. there is a perfect timing for every little thing. we just have to be patient with ourselves, with God. i'm sorry. i can't possibly return you all that you have given me, but i promise to be the bestest friend i can ever be and you will ever have. - He's everything to me He's more than a story more than words on a page of history He's the air that i breathe the water i thirst for and the ground beneath my feet He's everything to me. |